The sense of purpose that's followed a 'sudden, shocking' loss
“If we can prevent one other person going through what our family has been through, that’s the biggest success of all.”
Stacey McIntyre has endured grief that few wives at such a young age have had to. The Tribune’s Logan Savory talked to Stacey about her late husband Quinn, the family’s health discovery, how the Southlander will be celebrated on Saturday, and a fundraising effort attached to it.
Stacey McIntyre describes herself as an active griever.
That sentence can probably be pinned up as one of the great understatements.
On May 18 last year Stacey and her children Zac and Ivy’s lives changed forever in one of the cruellest ways.
Husband and Dad Quinn McIntyre - a Southlander - made a trip from their home at Hawea Flat to Invercargill to play a game of golden oldies rugby at the Waikiwi club’s 125th jubilee.
It was his third golden oldies game in a short space of time, after having also played at jubilees for his old Central Pirates and Arrowtown clubs.
More importantly, was a catch up and a beer with some good mates that night.
Quinn worked hard over the years and in 2020 set up Enviroscope - an environmental consulting business. But he always had time for his mates.
The next morning after that catch up in Invercargill Stacey attempted to contact Quinn, but without any success.
A news article surfaced with police confirming a body had been found outside the Northern Tavern in Invercargill.
Stacey was left with the unimaginable heartache of joining the dots.
The devastating confirmation came when she spotted a police car heading towards their Hawea Flat home.
Life as she knew it had changed dramatically.
Quinn, 42, had suffered a sudden cardiac death outside the Northern Tavern that Saturday night and was found the next morning by a person walking by.
“The hardest thing for us is that it was so sudden, and he had no warning,” Stacey says.
“It is just so sudden, and so shocking.”
Stacey - who has a background in nursing - was left with more questions than answers.
“He had a negative autopsy which means that they could not find any sign of what could have led to his passing.
“I thought, the only thing that could probably do that would be an arrhythmia, which is essentially an electrical malfunction of the heart. It is not going to leave any trace.”
What has followed since that tragic day is a story of a determined mother that has her family front and centre.
There’s also been a quest to make sure her husband’s life is celebrated. This Saturday - in a setting where Quinn would have been in his element - that will happen.
The Quinnchella Music Festival will be held at the Hawea Hotel. More about that in a bit.
The first priority for Stacey after her husband’s sudden death was to get all of Quinn’s immediate family checked by a GP.
What was discovered provided another life changing moment for the McIntyre family.
It was found that Quinn’s father Brent has Long QT syndrome and 10-year-old daughter Ivy has Wolf-Parkinson-White syndrome.
Without the tragic loss of Ivy’s Dad, Stacey says they would have been none the wiser of their daughter and Quinn’s father’s health situation.
“It was a real shock because once again, neither of them had any symptoms or warning.
“While we are still not sure if Quinn had either of those conditions, it has helped towards him being referred to the cardiac inherited disease group in Auckland who are going to investigate his case further.”
The hope was Ivy would undergo a cardiac ablation procedure at Starship Children’s Hospital in Auckland, which should have provided a 100% cure for her condition.
Unfortunately, during the procedure to remove the extra electrical pathway in Ivy’s heart, it was discovered that the extra pathway was in a high-risk location in her heart, and it was too dangerous to perform the ablation.
Ivy will now have to live with the condition, unless research can lead to an alternative cure.
“It can be difficult at times having that hanging over you, especially considering what happened to Quinn. But Ivy is so positive, and she just wants to live her life to the full.
“The first thing she said when she woke up from her procedure was; ‘can I run now mum?’.
“She just wants to get on with life and live life to the full. That’s the decision we have got to make, do we wrap her up in cotton-wool or do we live life to the full, rather than living in fear.”
It is about mitigating the risks for Ivy on the back of the knowledge they now have. Such as avoiding various medications that might affect her heart condition and having monitoring with her cardiologist.
They have also bought a defibrillator for the family home.
“We live rurally, so an ambulance can take a while to get to us. You’ve got about three minutes to defibrillate someone in a cardiac arrest. So, it gives us peace in mind that we can live life as normally as possible.”
Throughout the grieving process Stacey says the special milestones have been particularly tough. Christmas, Father’s Day, and birthdays - for example.
She was keen for one of those milestones to actually become a joyous occasion, which sparked a suggestion from Quinn’s sister Lauren.
The McIntyres previously held a “Quinnchella” party at their Hawea Flat property in 2022 to celebrate Quinn’s 40th birthday.
After Quinn’s death last year sister Lauren threw up the idea of another “Quinnchella”, this time to mark what would be his 43rd birthday.
With little hesitation Stacey took on the role of event organiser. As if she didn’t have enough to work through with life as a mother, business owner, Mental Health Clinician, and university student.
Saturday won’t just be a celebration of a great person though. It has morphed into a fundraiser for Cure Kid’s research into the prevention of sudden cardiac death.
“It was initially going to be at home, like all the other parties I’ve thrown, but as the idea grew, I thought now that we are very much a heart family, we should do something positive.”
The goal is to raise $40,000 for cardiac research - an ambitious target.
Although Stacey points out that given it costs $120,000 a year for a research project, it is the sort of money that needs to be raised.
Stacey has been humbled by the support she has received to both put on the event and help raise funds.
It has included a host of donated auction items which people can bid for online by clicking here.
The first hope is that everyone makes the trip to the Hawea Hotel on Saturday for the Quinnchella Music Festival.
But those who are unable to make it, and still want to support the event, can bid on an auction item or donate to the fundraising efforts by also clicking here, or following the below QR code.
There are also still openings to jump on board as an event sponsor, so that by covering the costs of the event, all ticket proceeds can go directly to the charity.
“It just seems to me such a senseless loss losing Quinn so young. So [the event and fundraising] has sort of given his family and friends a sense of purpose, to try and focus on something positive that can come from such a significant loss,” Stacey says.
“If we can prevent one other person going through what our family has been through, that’s the biggest success of all.”
The hope is more awareness will be raised to ensure people get a routine check-up with your GP, and to include an ECG (electrocardiogram) in that check-up.
“If we can raise that awareness, getting an ECG at your medical centre is quick and non-invasive. Something so simple could lead to a life-saving early detection, if it benefits even one person, it would be a success,” Stacey says.
A host of musicians will take to the stage at the Quinnchella Music Festival on Saturday, in what can be described as an eclectic lineup.
It includes highly regarded Christchurch band Pieces of Molly, and former Southland entertainer of the year Lachie Hayes, who is emerging as a real talent in the New Zealand music scene.
On top of that will be some - let’s say less established musicians - taking to the stage. They are Quinn’s mates.
Quinn always fancied himself as band frontman on the mic with his strength probably being his enthusiasm.
“Quinn loved a good time and was just so social. I think one of his greatest strengths was his ability to connect with people.
“I think he would be all for people coming together and having a good time, and at the same time raising money for a really good cause.”
People wanting to attend Quinnchella on Saturday can purchase their tickets by clicking here.
Doors open at 12pm and please note it is a R18 event
Music starts 2pm, and end at 12:30am.