Thirsty Thursday: A punch in the face for all women
Sarah McCarthy’s Thirsty Thursday column is brought to you each week thanks to Invercargill-based law firm Mee & Henry Law.
Sarah McCarthy’s Thirsty Thursday column is brought to you each week thanks to Invercargill-based law firm Mee & Henry Law
THIRSTY THURSDAY 52
Ugh I’ve stuffed my back and so I’m super cross at everything and everyone and not even lying in bed is giving me much relief.
I’m also cross because also now when I say I have a sore back nobody says, “woooooo shagger’s back”, they just assume that I got up too quickly or, as is my case, was pulled around by a hysterically happy border collie for two days while he went on his mission to welcome every single person in Queenstown into his ever-widening circle of friends.
And I’ve had to ring and make appointments, which I absolutely hate, and also try and rub deep heat on my own back because Mr mr is away and if I try and get one of the boys to do it for me it will end up in someone’s eye, I guarantee it.
This has, however, given me endless time to get really worked up about the latest wretched move from the Government who have taken to using a parliamentary sneaky sneak to biff pay equity claims. This is a punch in the face for all women, and it’s absolutely giving “we know we’re not lasting more than a term so let’s trash the place”.
So here is a list of things we can do.
1 All future pay equity claims to be submitted via brick
2 If you don’t think you’re being paid fairly take it up with your employer. If this is a challenge for you please let me know and I will come and be your support person because by golly I may not like making a phone call but I will absolutely come with you dressed up as a scary witch and sit in the corner casting chicken bones on the floor and hissing.
3 Work to rule. Figure out how much work you’re actually being paid to do compared to men and the spend the appropriate amount of unpaid time practising casting bones, doing your nails, learning the Six60 song Pepeha in NZSL (on YouTube, v cute) or engage in a competitive farting league with your fellow lady colleagues.
4 Make nefarious plans. These are very soothing and can include such wonders as planning to watch all of the National Party Tik Toks and Instagram posts and taking a shot every time former CEO Christopher Luxton pokes his tongue out, or planning to overthrow the government.
5 Stop making his side of the bed, washing his dishes and washing his clothes. This is called trickle-down economics.
6 If you do, then stop faking orgasms. Just lie very still and if he says, “are you alright?” say, “I just can’t stop thinking about fair pay for women” and if he asks, “was it good for you darling?” say, “only 75 per cent”.
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Hahahaha oooh, thats awesome Sarah. Needed something like this to give me a lift today :0)) Janice
Well done you